Hello Neighbors,
We’d like to start this week’s newsletter by assuring everyone that the repair of the hole in the sky is near completion. And while we’re on the subject, we’d like to share some findings we’ve made in the month’s long process of repair. First:
It appears that the hole in the sky appeared in Phoenix Town three weeks before anyone became aware of it.
On the other side of the hole in the sky is a kind of universe, neighboring Ethers 7 and 6TK. This (as yet unknown) universe seems to be home to Mx. Black Copper who has now safely returned.
The hole in the sky occurred when the concentric rotations of Ether 7 and Ether 6TK pulled an opening in the skies over Phoenix Town. Scientists liken it to opening a bag of popcorn by pulling at its opposite corners, except instead of a delicious buttery snack, random objects enter the atmosphere. In our case, a human.
It is currently unclear whether this is likely to happen again as the full scope of contributing factors is unknown. At the moment, we are all crossing our fingers.
More details as they come.
Hey Neighbors,
I’m LaRon A. Pettyman here with your weekly scoop on Who’s Who in Phoenix Town. This week, we’re taking a look at Corey Gaines.
Corey Gaines is an aspiring professional bowling league champion. After opening two failed bowling alleys, the 30-year old originally from the former city of Brampton, Ontario, has recently opened a third (Corey’s Lanez on Daystar Avenue) and hopes you will all “come out and support a young Black man just trying to do something for the community.”
When he’s not polishing bowling balls and picking up fallen kingpins, Corey can be found volunteering at the Community Outreach Center of Phoenix Town.
I’m LaRon A. Pettyman with Who’s Who in Phoenix Town. Stay tuned and stay up.
Neighborhood Watch | **A Special Bulletin**
This week’s message from Neighborhood Watch was channeled by Charles Fournier*
The Ghost of Harriet Tubman has made contact with Forrest Fiars.
Forrest Fiars has been located in the former city of Sedalia, MO.
Forrest Fiars has been hunting the Sasquatch-like ghost of wh-te s-prem-cy and has located it in the ruins of former-Memphis, TN. We will not disclose its current location at this time.
The Sasquatch Search Society is bringing Forrest home to Phoenix Town and is en route as we speak.
We love you. You are seen and sustained.
—Your Neighborhood Watch
News & Events About Town
This Saturday, the Uniondale Chorale Society will be performing the first show of their spring season! They will be performing the first compositions in their 3-part spring series Oh We Could All Be Singing And Instead We Are Working. The series includes musical themes of capitalism’s constant interruption of the joyful possibilities of human existence, time theft, and dissociation. Tickets are available now at the Thurgood Thurman Thespian’s Theatre box office.
Next Friday, Phoenix Town Activities (PTA) is hosting its first ever speed dating event, “Hey, I Just Met You!” at Town Hall Lodge #63. The PTA encourages you to bring your wit, your charm, and your own chair as Town Hall continues to struggle with community members continuing to take chairs from the Lodge without returning them, following monthly Town Hall meetings. Sign up to reserve your spot at endwasnigh@earthlink.net by Wednesday!
New Neighbor Spotlight | Jerrod Humphrey
Originally from: Tupelo, MS
Aided in the Fall: by disguising exiled americans
Favorite Color: Pig Pink
Favorite Song: Bad Luck by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes
Hobbies: huffin’, puffin’, and making blueberry muffins
Horoscope, February 23 | by Maya Angelou
Shadows on the wall
Noises down the hall
Life doesn't frighten me at all
Bad dogs barking loud
Big ghosts in a cloud
Life doesn't frighten me at all
Mean old Mother Goose
Lions on the loose
They don't frighten me at all
Dragons breathing flame
On my counterpane
That doesn't frighten me at all.
I go boo
Make them shoo
I make fun
Way they run
I won't cry
So they fly
I just smile
They go wild
Life doesn't frighten me at all.
Tough guys fight
All alone at night
Life doesn't frighten me at all.
Panthers in the park
Strangers in the dark
No, they don't frighten me at all.
That new classroom where
Boys all pull my hair
(Kissy little girls
With their hair in curls)
They don't frighten me at all.
Don't show me frogs and snakes
And listen for my scream,
If I'm afraid at all
It's only in my dreams.
I've got a magic charm
That I keep up my sleeve
I can walk the ocean floor
And never have to breathe.
Life doesn't frighten me at all
Not at all
Not at all.
Life doesn't frighten me at all.
The Community Action - Preheat your oven to 250. Take 30 pretzels, 30 pecans cut in half, and 30 Rolos. Place pretzels on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper. Place the Rolos on top of the pretzels. Bake for 5 minutes and then press the pecans into the tops of each Rolo. Let cool and eat ravenously.
This has been your bi-weekly newsletter.
—I’m your Neighbor, Sasha Banks. Under the eyes of the future.
image one, photographed by Patricia Gutiérrez Monllor
image two, Jean Jullien
poem, “Life Doesn’t Frighten Me” by Maya Angelou