A Bit of Housekeeping…
We’ll all look back on this and laugh.
Hello Neighbors,
It’s a new year and there is so much ahead of us. But we thought it chiefly important to point out a rather large-scale error on our part, here at the CCC.
After our last communication in September of the previous year, the CCC began an experiment with a new method of mass communications distribution that promised to be exciting, innovative, and just really cool. We experimented with TelCom Distribution, also known as Telepathic Communications Distribution.
This new system was created to deliver public communications to participating communities telepathically, a method practical for many reasons: the preservation of trees, the privacy of the receiving communities, and (in the case of Phoenix Town) the safety of increasingly sensitive information regarding Forrest Fiars—more on that soon.
The issue with our new TelCom system is that a key mechanism failed to deliver these telepathic communications to the correct community. Meaning all communications from September to December of last year were being telepathically misfired into the wrong location. Community members involved in the distribution shift discovered that the misfired communications were being sent into Ethers 9 and 6TK (for those unfamiliar, these are two vacant space fields surrounding Saturn), and have since begun collecting the fragmented pieces of said communications.
That said, we will be resuming our usual distribution methods until the matter is resolved. In the meantime, here are some fragmented highlights of the things you missed!
October 28 - Forrest Fiars was spotted in the former city of Atlanta. His whereabouts are currently suspected in Macon.
October 31 - Councilman Cliff Rogers officially resigned from his seat. Election details for his successor will be announced in the coming weeks.
November 10 - A curious hole was discovered in the sky over Phoenix Town, which confirmed the weeks-long mystery of Neighborhood Watch’s earlier warnings. The hole has since been repaired, however it seems to have originated from a strange newcomer who calls themselves Mx. Black Copper. They fell through the fabric of our seemingly precarious sky and has expressed an urgent need for our help returning them to their home. More on that in the next newsletter.
November 21 - Phoenix Town community member Darreld Belle returned to his address to find that his house had disappeared. Belle stated, “Now, I know it didn’t just get up walk away by itself,” though upon further investigation, the Phoenix Town community search party confirmed that it did. The house was located at the river’s edge with its newly sprouted legs outstretched in the water. Belle, Phoenix Town community search party, and the house are in current negotiations for its return.
December 8 - a letter from Forrest Fiars was discovered in the outskirts of Phoenix Town by member of the SSS. Leader, The Ghost of Harriet Tubman, deciphered the note’s crooked cursive to find it contained only one predictably cryptic sentence: ‘I am here and there.” Phoenix Town community members with any hunches or speculations as to the note’s meaning are encouraged to shared with The Ghost of Harriet Tubman at aramintainthewoods@sbcglobal.net.
December 22 - The Week of Rest and Good Tidings commenced and Phoenix Town began its 3-week long tradition of sleeping, feasting, and reflecting. As we are in the last week of the holiday, we have abbreviated this newsletter and will resume with more details in the next.
This has been your bi-weekly newsletter.
—I’m your Neighbor, Sasha Banks. Under the eyes of the future.
Genius 👏🏼